I'm Right Here

Finn... this boy is so flippin cute.

Firstly, he is aware that I get a little anxious any time I don't know exactly where he is and what he's doing.  So now, anytime he hears his name, he pipes up with, "I right here!"

Secondly... he's just such a little tiny miniature Steve.  Jack has been dressing up as Optimus Prime a lot recently.  And Finn is pretty cool about that.  He wants to be OP Prime now and then, but seems to rather be Bumblebee than share Op Prime (i.e. they are both Op Prime). Anyway today Jack is walking up to him in character and Finn does sort of a stage jump and points to Jack and in his best Op Prime voice says, "You're OP PRIIIIMMME."

My mom always said the difference between boys and girls is that boys make car noises immediately.  So true.  Finn and Jack both make mechanical sound effects all the time when they play.  Ugh, I just want to bottle the cuteness because I just can't appreciate it as much as it deserves right at this time of life.

Patience

ONE picture frame still stands empty.  But I am finally, finally, mostly done with the main picture display in the living room.
This has gone thru a lot of variations over the years.  One of the things Steve and I promised ourselves when we bought this house was that since we basically could ONLY barely afford it, we would take our time fixing, cleaning, decorating.  We haven't been totally true to that, but it certainly has been a rule of thumb.  We do the things we have to for safety or for absolute comfort and then the things that drive us crazy - but they would have to drive us really really crazy even after we'd really tried not to let it drive us crazy for us to make a change.

Anyway, I never planned on an arch of sorts, but I'm liking it.

Accidentally In Love

I have been doing a lot of looking over past photos because I've been catching up on scrapbooking (I made it to Christmas 2011 and couldn't handle anymore at the moment), AND I've been trying to fill up and put up my photos finally in my house (with Gramma's help of course).  And I was looking at a picture from the family Hawaii trip where I was snuggling with Jack (cute), and my face was totally broken out (not so cute) because unknown to me I was pregnant with sweet Finn.
Anyway, hopefully he won't mind that he was unintentional, because goshdarnit, I'm sure glad he's here because I absolutely am in love with this accidentally planned child.  SO Accidentally in Love is our theme song.  Maybe I'll make him dance with me to it at his wedding.

Finn the Family Teddy Bear

One thing keeping up the family scrapbook does for me, as opposed to just updating facebook, is gives me perspective.

Somehow when you're going thru a year's worth of photos at once, you see patterns easier.

And Finn, sweet crazy haired Finn is hardly in any pictures in which he is not being cuddled by someone.  The boy is a cuddle magnet.  His role in the family is the family teddybear.

Not My Best...

Did I mention Abby is going to a therapist to help her gain tools to cope with her "fears"?  If I didn't  I was fully intending to, under the post heading of "Abby vs. the Therapist".  Because she has no faith at all that what she's doing will help.  It *is* helping, but obviously I don't fight about it and just let the help help.

Anyway, the fear that sent us there initially is a totally crippling crazy irrational fear of bees.  I say it like that because the girl has been stung twice, is not allergic, these are not unknown freakish things, she knows it hurts and then it doesn't.  Anyway, it has really really changed my carefree social butterfly into a much more troubled spirit - not excited - in fact totally terrified of any fun out of doors.  All the time? No, but way more than before. Before, all the drama in her little heart was dedicated to the pain of not having social events every minute of every day.

The main course of action is to let the therapist do their work and just sort of jog Abby thru trouble spots.  One thing Steve and I have been doing more of is having special adventures for her alone with one of us alone.  She went to see Adventures of Tin Tin last weekend with Steve.

This weekend I thought I'd take her on a little photography adventure.  I'm taking a break from taking jobs at the moment and just want to try to rediscover (as I will probably have to do every year) photography not based on clients.  Abby loves to take photos too... sometimes.  But I figured it was a good idea.  Brilliant if I do say so myself as we weren't going to be basing our relationship on really expensive outings or only on shopping or food.

Yeah, so I took her to take pictures of... flowers.  You all see where this is going, but I didn't.  The idea that where there are flowers, there are bees did not even enter my consciousness until Abby refused to leave the car.

Temptation salvaged the day (the less paralyzed she was about the bees, the bigger the gift she would get at the end- yes there goes my no money adventure idea... but she was bought off by a $12 book which hey... isn't $100 at least...).  The lure of the gift got her to talk about other things, silly things while we spent a whole hour amongst dreaded bee attracting plant life.

All in all, a win. But an unintentional challenge.  I couldn't believe I had missed the flower/bee connection.  Sweet girl.  Our special adventure time was kinda akin to going to the dentist, but hey - it was just us.

edited to add: I should point out no matter of bribery would have gotten her thru this a month ago.  Yay for therapy

Cousins Rights

It's funny - Steve's side of the family had a bundle of babies in a four year span, so the concept of cousins is pretty mundane for my kids: Cousins? I just call them "the multitude"... you're my cousin? sure you are - so is half this block!
So when my side of the family finally got on the board this year it feels like a totally different introduction to the idea of a cousin.
I can't say I worried over including Ryley at all, I figured (especially since my bro & sis in law moved closer to us) she would melt in just like the other gaggle of cousins.  And she did.  BUT it has been somehow more... novel to watch.  She doesn't have siblings stealing her stuff yet and mom and dad haven't been horrendously unfair taking another child's side over hers.  So here she is with this group of cousins, all getting in her face and making funny noises at her.  Ryley, luckily is no wuss and is actually pretty nonchalant about it.  In fact, I believe she is really starting to like the chaos.
Abby of course has always been up to making faces and cooing and wanting to hold or pat her new cousin.  Finn is happy enough with her - I can't remember at the moment him making a lot of moves toward forming a bond, but he'll come over to her, scrunch to her level and speak gobbly gook which I think is cute.
Jack however, seems to have followed more in Abby's footsteps as he likes to be up close and personal with the cousins, no matter which side they're from.  I find this super duper cute.  Especially since it took a long road of him playing too hard with cousins for a long time.
Anyway, I worried a little - not about Ryley melding in, but I wondered how her parents would feel as my kids get MORE and more comfortable messing with her.  I mean, neither parent is a wuss, both wrestled plenty with their own sibling(s) but this is their first born after all - they haven't even dropped her yet ;). So far they are fine, but she hasn't been introduced to the homemade Wipeout course in our living room yet... so we'll see ;).
OH but my point.  My point is, the kids seem to know instinctively that she is one of their own, so they (unlike me) aren't worried about whether her mom is ready for her to be tickled or added to the game of transformers: autobots vs. decepticons because Ryley is theirs too.  So are the kids from the other side - you mess with one of them, they'll stop squabbling amongst themselves and take you down.  You've been warned.
They have cousins rights.

Babies

At ANS last year they did a whole two week focus on babies in the spring and the kids got WAY into it.  Jack barely got into it... but he gave it a go.  He made a baby (filled a colored sock with rice), but made no other ornamentation for "baby Jack."  He carried the baby around now and then, but not really feeling.

Abby found the baby and brought it back out and last night they were all fighting over the baby - all three of them were rocking and cooing at the baby.  Jack saying , "oh, dear, my my my dear, it's going to be ok, I've gotchu"  It was incredibly cute.

Then Jack leaned real close to the baby, and in the same sing song "dad voice" Jack said, "It's okay baby, do you want to have my gun? Here, here, have my gun" (it was nerf.  But still.  Classic)

SOOOO proud

The boys and their independence.  They are so proud of themselves whenever they do things for themselves, even when only a week ago they were openly defiant at the mere suggestion.

Oreos & Bleach

Someday I will be doing some sort of cleaning with bleach and I will unwind with a cup of milk and dunkable Oreos.  And I will get a weird sort of deja vu.  I wonder if I will remember that the reason it is so familiar is that once upon a time (now and since Abby was 3) I would now and then have Oreos after a long hard day working at the preschool (you know how the teachers do everyday?).  So as I bring the soaked oreo to my mouth I get a whiff of bleach from my fingers... ah, sweet memories.

Sentimental ORANGES!!!!

Our School's only mandatory fundraiser - successfully running for 59 years.

It no longer fills me with dread.  I have the family and friends to reach the number of citrus eaters than I need.

They give us "cards" which contain contact info of previous customers and one gets me every year. The gentleman is obviously infirmed and possibly elderly.  He's been buying oranges for decades (I get their history along with their contact info) and he's adamant about supporting the school every year.  He has nurses that care for him and the house and he obviously makes it VERY known to each and every one of them to look out for my call.   They all start getting anxious at Christmas about making sure they get the call.  It's really sweet and very much appreciated.

AND I've decided I will be just like them out of gratitude for the school's contribution to my kids.  Because without them I think I would have taken to chaining the kids to furniture.  Okay maybe not.  But still.  I would be less successful by spades.

God Complex

In general I think I have a pretty healthy balance of humility and ego (if I do say so myself ;)).

But is it a bad sign of a God Complex if I think to myself as I have already merged together three pictures to make a family picture worth presenting and at the last minute notice one of the adults is NOT looking at me like I TOLD them to look at me while I got the little one's attention and I think, "You know what, I'm going to leave him as is - make an example out of him."?

That's a problem huh?

Oh well, with God's blessing it'll end up being this dude's favorite picture of himself.

Sigh.

People.

Laugh, I say! Laugh!

I think sometimes I attribute normal things from Jack as extraordinary considering I think he has (like me) some extra sensory problems.  Not as in he's psychic, but as in everything is a bit much for him.   He loves to be loud, but when the loud is not to his liking he freaks out.  He loves to cuddle and wrestle, but touch him when he doesn't want you to, no matter how lightly, and you may as well be scratching your fingers across a chalkboard.

He does this thing right now where he'll find something funny and chuckle to himself.  Then he'll look at me (perhaps I did not find this particular thing funny, or perhaps I have finished with my mirth over it) and he orders me to, "Laugh."

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.  But he'll try two things before he gives up:

a) he'll fake a giggle hoping that will inspire me (and say, "See? A laugh. Like this.)

b) he'll get dictatorial, "Mommy! Laugh! Laugh happy!"

He's VERY interested in emotions.  Taking a poll of the room (literally) asking "Finn? You happy?"  and so on.  And if we're reading a book in which Optimus Prime is described as sad Jack will race from wherever he is in the room and search the picture on the page, "Where? Where is Optimus sad?"

Belated Gift Receiver

As most of you know, Steve has one highly annoying habit.  He is ALWAYS right.  Whether it takes three minutes to prove or three years, he is always right.  You wouldn't think it would be that difficult to live with - maybe you would even consider it a blessing.

But no. It's alot like those genius shows on tv.  Like WHY after a couple years working with Monk would you EVER EVER think he was wrong.  Sure, on Medium you can get away with a little doubt since she was so often overly dramatic, but you know you should still have CHECKED out every single one of her dreams - I mean COME ON.   Mentalist - you're not going to question him after a while.  But it must be the human condition to do just that.

YES I know you're right always honey, but this time... it just can't be... or wait - oh you've already proven it.  Nevermind.

Anyway, one of his gifts to me for Christmas a few years ago was to get my blog printed.

And I thought, awh, cool (especially since he doesn't read my blog, it was nice that he was being supportive).  Then went into a little bit and realized it needed to be finessed a little and that it wasn't going to be near as cheap as the adverts made it seem.  And then I was like - geez, most of these posts are me just being lame and long winded, not worth the time or effort.  And of course I was still adding more and so what was the point?

WELL, my blogging wound down as my facebooking went up and I went back and really appreciated all that history.  SO:

He was right.  I love them. I love them in hand so I can flip thru and not get seasick going page after page on the internet.  They are nice enough.  Not exactly a book page quality from the Smithsonian, but nice.  Totally worth it, even though getting ALL of them done at once was pricey.

Love

This morning I looked indescribably grimy.  I probably look grimy most days at home, but this was extra eye crusty sort of grimy thanks to the fact that Finn slept naught a peaceful wink two nights ago and I'm still paying for it.  So I was laying on the couch with Finn trying to catch a few more minutes of rest while he played on the iPad and of course giving him smootches on the cheek now and then.  I had grabbed a Bumblebee fleece blanket, and at first Finn was thrilled to cuddle... with Bumblebee.  After a while he wanted to cuddle with Momma and we spent quite a while with his face pressed against my cheek while he played on the iPad and I smootched him til he was ticklish and giggly.  It was just very very sweet and loving and I looked in the mirror a little later and shook my head.  Even though I cherish my mom and know how important she is to me, I still forget how important I am to my kids.  And I must be pretty cherished to be loved this morning.

Ten Times

Oh Abby, Abby, Abby.  This is Abby's 2nd grade poem for the Poem Party.  I told her she had to read it ten times tonight in her room.  She came back to me and gave this to me and I just looked at it, so confused.  Then realized this is how she had kept track of how many times she had read it.  This girl has art on the brain.  Which is good because that's all she wants to be so far when she grows up.  Well, maybe a cake decorator too.

Sentimental Jack

Apparently Jack is the only one who gets sentimental for us at bedtime at Gramma's on our very spoiled date nights.  A couple weeks ago my mom texted me to send a picture for him to show we're thinking of him right at that moment.  And we did.  Apparently he hugged the phone and I hope soon after went to bed.

Dear Abby & Jack

I am pretty sure, considering that things fall out of my brain at constant and alarming rates that I will look back on Finn as if he was the easiest, sweetest, most serene of the three of you.  As if parenting him was like "Oh, yes, Finn - I'd forgotten about you - how glad I am that you have done all your homework for the next three years without having to be asked."

BUT let me tell you, while that is mostly true (sorry A&J), WHEN Finn decides to be difficult he is ridiculously and thoroughly difficult.  WHAT makes him so remarkably difficult when he chooses?  He has absolutely no fear of rejection.  He knows he's loved and cute and that he'd not going to get beaten.  So if we're at a stand off - he doesn't really care enough about his toys (like Jack cares) to have that be currency to get him to change his path and he doesn't have any doubts of my love and affection so me threatening to leave does nothing to him: "Otay, bye bye Momma, see you later!"

It is absolutely ridiculously difficult.

Best Sister Ever...

Abby is absolutely the apple of her brothers' eyes. She's the rock star when she comes home from school, the heartbreaker when she wants some alone time.

I mentioned in that last posts at Burnt Fudge that she's as much like Steve as she is like me. Case in point both the pictures above of her taking turns with the boys giving them piggy back rides and twirling them around, and also as I'm writing this she is playing the lego video game Steve got for the kids. Pirates of the Caribbean - she's the mermaid and she's walking around town and Abby commentates, "Everyone's just ignoring me, come on people, I'm a mermaid, haven't you even noticed I'm a mermaid walking around - haven't you ever seen a bra walking around like this before?"

And, of course, as per Abby - she can't play sitting still. If she's trying to get her character to move, she moves. If she's trying to get them to jump she jumps. She does a little dance to try to get them out of the water before the sharks eat them. Ah, good clean fun.

Behind the Scenes

I do not do well waiting. Not even a little bit. Especially for photos in which I feel equal parts guilt and anticipation since this little family tradition is HUGELY important to me. However, being on the other side most of the time, I'm well aware that this sort of build up is generally NOT good for anyone on the shoot. So Steve, sensing my overt insanity, told me to wait in the car for the photographer while he walked around with the kids NOT making them crazy as I would. I can't tell you what a jerk I am when I'm anxious, and why should I? Most of you know.

First Kiss of 2012

Okay it was probably the 13th kiss of 2012, but it was the only one that didn't end up like this one:

Due to Steve's improv... which mostly involved slobber noises

Happy New Year!!!

I have not made any fancy resolutions about blogging. I love the new facebook "timeline" change and may find that it is indeed all I need.

But it's pretty hard to ramble with a lot of detail, which is sometimes what it takes to explain what's going on. Or maybe it's that Facebook is a much more... aware of the public sort of forum, where as I'm pretty sure my readers here can be counted on a hand or two.

Burnt Fudge has all the history, but also all the baggage - including 98% full space from blogger. Starting fresh here with probably less pictures - I'll let facebook take care of the picture side of history... at least most of it. I will be extremely selfish about using pictures here maybe. As in before, if I were blogging about an event I would try to represent important people. Now, nope it's just us and I'll be sharing on Facebook.

SO, that's the plan.

Ready?

Set?

Go!