Monday, February 24, 2014

Renaissance

I am perfectly aware that I am living my Renaissance right now.  It's weird to know.  Beautiful and great and... also a little bitter-sweet....

Why is this time so special?  My mom and I have an unusually close relationship - to some extent though we've been on hold for a very long time.  There was college and my total distraction with my future at first, then there was a brief dalliance of curtains and cat litter box focus and then of course there were babies - which both served to bring us very close but also kept us constantly from focusing on anything but them for long.

Now - FINALLY - it's that time.  We're literally a stone's throw away - the kids are all potty trained and mostly able to stay alive without constant supervision.  The kids frequently and with total freedom toddle off to Gramma's house seeking an extra snack, some time to themselves, or, more specifically some time away from their siblings or parents...  a little but complete retreat just a backyard away.  Gramma stops in to get the scoop for the day or to argue about homework.  We've not become constant artist conspirators or anything, but I suppose we could... if we wanted to.  I think first we have to get used to actually having the opportunity.

My dad comes every week still - gives the kids a different kind of retreat - a different sort of energy - total treat.   I was going to say its biggest for Jack-and it's true- there's something about Poppa's presence that both feeds and calms the most raw side of Jack.  BUT it's not like the other two need him less.  Abby counts on that time with him like an inmate for special food.  My theory on this is that she is constantly trying very hard to be nice- knowing she has to be self sacrificing but Poppa isn't about that. Poppa is about "go ahead and ask for the extra helping."  Plenty of people would get pissed at the weekly splurge- but I think it's important.  It's not just food.  It's her time to be selfish without guilt.  Steve has always told the grandparents that it's their option to spoil the grand kids and our responsibility to raise them.  And Finn just wants Poppa around... Focused only on what Finn wants to do.  

As Renaissances go, my dad is giving to his grand kids exactly what he has always felt deprived of as a kid.  And they need it no less than he did. That is deep.

Zoozy and Grandpa pop up to do their thing.  Possibly most foreign to me but awesome is their support for the school events.  Again- they provide that just slightly different energy.  It's like the legacy of Steve's childhood family but crazy softened.  

What sort of luck is that that my kids have BOTH sets of grandparents showing up for Grandparents day?  That Finn gets to have his Mom and Zoozy and two aunts work monthly the WHOLE day at his school?  It's wild I tell you.

My whole family is well.  My whole family is with me if not daily then weekly.  My kids will still cuddle with me.   My husband is cute.  The house is so so so so so lovely and incredible.

This is a good time.