Fussy Eaters Unite

An Open Letter to Parents of Fussy Eaters

Anyone who has known me long knows I was the poster child for fussy eating from the time I was 3 until I was... well 35.

According to my mother I ate everything until I noticed my brother did not.  From then on, no amount of bribery, cajoling, pleading, guilt, starvation, or nudging could drive me off course.

I can literally list for you what I ate from Kindergarten-College without exception (I'm not going to count desserts in here):

• Plain chicken breast
• Cheerios
• Instant Breakfast (Chocolate mostly though I remember very early on a vanilla phase)
• Top Ramen (dry or cooked - Beef flavor only)
• Steak (plain)
• Apples
• Bananas
• Frozen peanut butter sandwiches
• Microwavable White Rice with salt
• Pizza (Cheese Pizza ONLY)
• McDonalds Hamburgers PLAIN (brief memory of eating the nuggets but not liking them)

Hmm... I'm running low... Thinking hard now...

• Rice Crispies (Every now and then)
• Spaghetti (at Christmas at Auntie Lucy's)
• Pancakes 
• Sourdough Toast (Pioneer Brand)
• Other Sundry Bread (but only if starving)
• Cheese (chedder and string)
• Chips (doritos plain flavor, pringles)
• Saltines
• Peanuts
• Sunflower seeds

I mean I'm sure I'll think of a few more things but... not many.

My eating habits were a constant embarrassment to my family.  And I'm sure especially to my mom a pretty serious stress.

My kids have Steve to balance them out a bit and so far Abby & Jack are doing steller in comparison to their mom.  But Finn is currently on a graham cracker & cream cheese kick.  And Bananas.  That's about it.  It's not good.

BUT as I was worrying about this today I wanted to remind myself... and anyone else who might want the encouragement.  

I was the fussiest of eaters and yet:

I have had and do have long lasting nourishing loving relationships.

I am on excellent, loving terms with everyone in my family - that includes my in-laws!

I did excellent in school.

I was a part of many extra curricular activities (granted they were mostly nerdy ones)

I dated.

I made up curfews that were earlier than what my parents would have said they were.

The only times I was ever out late with a boy before Steve, we were actually literally just talking.  Really.

I've never smoked a cigarette.

I've never experimented or tried any drug stronger than Tylenol.  (And when I do choose to do Tylenol I follow the prescribed dosage.)

I've never had a speeding ticket. I've only even ever been pulled over twice. I was given warnings only.

I've never had a non-productive argument with anyone in my family.

Some people like me who aren't even related to me.

I found work in high school, college, and after college.

I graduated from pre-school, elementary school, high school, college, and pre-marital counseling.

I can play the piano.

I can write a damn good essay.

I can draw, paint, watercolor, or take a pretty picture

I never got sent to the principal's office... I'm not sure I ever got in trouble in school at all.

I don't cuss.  Except that one afternoon with Juliana S. because she thought it was really really funny.

The only time I drink alcohol is when my friends really really want to be entertained (once every 3-5 years?).

I've never bowed to peer pressure of any kind ever (except maybe for the drinking thing, but that's slightly different).

I'm only two months behind on my scrapbooking.

I love my kids.

Most people would even assume I was pretty normal if they don't speak to me.

And... finally... eventually, I did learn to love trying things.  It took Steve saying he wouldn't date me unless I liked Mexican food (I then ate chicken fajitas every single day, twice a day for 10 years straight - joke's on him sucker!!! Just kidding! Love you babe!).  It took going to dozens of weddings in which all the appetizers were chinese inspired and I was really really hungry.  And finally... it took my third pregnancy to do just what everyone always said would happen.  Instead of crave odd foods - the girl who always ate oddly - craved normal food.

Point being?  I figured it out.  I've never had a prolonged sickness or broken a bone and if given enough time I figured stuff out.  So will your kids.  

Take Care of your Own Stuff... in a Round...

Just a reminder.

It's what I value highly in others - that they can take care of their own life.  Share your problems with me absolutely - but let it be obvious that you know you're going to take care of them at the end of the day.  It's what I value highly in myself.  And what paralyzes me most is the feeling that I'm not doing it - that somehow I am not able to do it because it must be that bad because I'm NOT doing... instead I'm sitting here upset that I've not done it.  But nevermind, I value taking care of my own stuff and in this case my "stuff" is that I'm not taking care of my stuff so now I have to take care of my stuff.

Oprah

Ah, Oprah.  For a while now that the show has been off the air it's been pretty easy to think back and go - ah, I'm actually the better for not having that show as so often there were such haunting stories of awfulness that only sometimes had redemption at the end - or even if they did it was the redemption of someone holding on for dear life to their last hope of sanity and life after suffering loss and betrayal and tragedy.  Just as difficult were getting thru the fluffy shows that you just knew she didn't want to do but was forced to be the abc spokeswoman for the fall line up.

But finally watching some of her network reminded of why I started watching Oprah in the first place.  It was because I was a milking cow to my firstborn and my brain was slowly turning into absolute horrified mush.  Watching Oprah was like having some sort of group discussion with a bunch of other people.  I didn't always agree with them, but it forced me to exercise that little used function of my brain NOT associated directly with baby's every whim.  I had things to think about and even discuss whether or not I liked the way Oprah talked about it.

Her lifeclass series I have shied away from because the name itself seems a bit... pretentious.  Sorry, Oprah.  But I'm back in and already keep deleting sentences from here that sound too much like a commercial for it.  Like "it seems like the sort of format she has wanted for a long time."

Anyway.  A few episodes I've watched have all got me to look at my perspective.  I have always seen myself as someone good at perspective.  I'm not like you sweet people who have to clean the kitchen in order to concentrate - oh no, I can see the big picture.  Ha.  Not so much right at the moment.

We are in such a good place right now, that I have realized that I am still in the habit of focusing - or trying to focus- on what problems might be happening.  Problem tunnel vision.  A few months ago this was vital normal life.  I had to have a finger on the pulse of the house situation.  Now, I don't really think that getting my closet organized should overshadow enjoying who I married or the kids that we love.  Nope! Don't even try to get cranky at me that I'm just trying to avoid organizing my closet by spouting lessons on life.  I am still very committed to having a household that is not organizational chaos.  That has a rhythm to it and all that.

But focusing on the minutia can take a back seat for awhile every day so that I can remember that I really really like the people that I am surrounded by.  And I really really don't want to go to sleep every night with my mind full only all the things I didn't accomplish or need to.  Instead, a bit of breathing and awe of my blessings.  Check.

Ring, Ring...

We decided to nix the house phone.  Megan Scheidler thought we were very modern for doing this.  I let her believe that, but... no... that's not really it.

Mostly we are just afraid of our mortgage.  We've done the numbers a dozen times.  The bank did the numbers 600 times.  Still... we are paranoid of an extra expense.  Must cut out all extra expenses.

But, more than that, I've realized that we only ever used our house phone to call our cell phones in order to locate them.  Which shows you both why the house phone was necessary and not at all necessary.  Obviously since I used the house phone a lot - that means I lost my cell phone a lot.  SO, I've got to stop that.

Oddly enough, despite the fact that we have our iphones attached to our hands and brains every other moment of the day - we are not that great at having our phones handy when someone might call.  I'm not sure how that works.  But I spend a lot of time trying to get three stars on every angry bird level out there, and yet - the ONE time I have the phone somewhere random someone calls.

And then they tried the house phone.  And now there is no longer that option.  So... yes.  Must stop losing iphone.

Chances are if I am not attached to my iphone I am attached to my computer.  So your new 2nd step should be to email.

By the way, my mom also only has a cell.  This has much probability of comical error.

Signed,
thoroughly modern us