DC Super Fun Trip

The Abby Problem

I am realizing slowly - in tidbits - not all at once - that I have a tendency to use Abby.  I have always been proud that I am not "one of those mothers" who want their child to be a cheerleader or a virtuoso or popular in a way in which I can live through her in any selfish/negative way.  Generally I want my kids to find their own passions and drive in life... as much as is possible and I'll certainly give pushes where I think they need it.  But not because I want it.  Believe me I would much rather they all stay closeted up in my house for as long as possible - both because then I don't have to drive them around and also it's just a little like being pregnant - at least in my house I have some illusion of control over their general safety.

No, how I'm realizing I'm using Abby is as a sacrificial... something.  Honestly, I haven't totally figured it out.  But we haven't yet gotten to the point that she will pout inconsolably if she doesn't get what she wants.  She has this amazing, truly awe inspiring ability to power thru disappointment (cue my guilty inner voice "probably because she's so used to the feeling *insert rim shot here*).

I guess as I'm writing myself thru this I am thinking that I am taking credit for something and in fact assigning blame to myself for something that may just be simply a very beautiful character trait that she has.

I expect her to power thru her disappointment.  That's true.  But I also know that someday - someday very soon - that won't be nearly as easy as it might be right now.  I appreciate it while it lasts.  And I'll do my best to recognize that she's getting to that age where she simply can't be lumped in with the young brothers and cousins at things such as.... oh I dunno - Halloween.

She doesn't yet really know what she's missing - hasn't had a huge mega trick or treating experience.  So right now, I think I can dare to say that she's not too disappointed with doing it the young way.  Her feet were starting to hurt, she got candy, we have plenty of extra candy, she got to hang out with some family (feeding that extrovert part of her).  And it was an odd year to be sure - usually Daddy takes her out special and he couldn't do that this year.

I still think I have to watch myself - make sure I'm not expecting her to choke her emotions off simply because they aren't the most socially acceptable right at that moment.   That's what I think I started this post about.  The idea that I sometimes want her not to be heard or seen simply because it would satisfy an agenda I'm about at that moment.  Ridiculous.  Awful.  And totally like hiding a light under a basket - or whatever that Biblical reference is.

Okay, guilt assuaged, pride growing, expectations nil.  Tomorrow is tomorrow.  Today she was the best big sister ever on the planet and, as per usual, a beautiful person.

Goodbye Summer...

Sneak Peeks into camp

Jack's Big Step

Kindergarden Transition Pre-school has put a pride and a confidence in Jack that I've only ever rarely glimpsed before.

There is still a big part of him that would prefer to stay at home and make up games with Finn (something that I have a very hard time not caving for since Finn is having such a rough time without him)... but once there he just - really prefers this structure.

He's still got to actually deal with the transition to real Kindergarden but that's probably best dealt with when we come to it.

I went on their field trip to Kidspace last week.  And even though I'm not awesomely made for field trip  duty (I sort of dislike it intensely) - I do appreciate what I get when I go - i.e. a glimpse into my son's social world.

He was obsessed with the map - this is him trying to direct his teacher:

Finn Stands Alone

This is a hard transitional few months for little Finn.  Jack graduated from their shared pre-school in June, they were separated into church classes instead of all being in the same nursery - then, just in case Finn didn't understand what that all meant (he did), Jack went off to Kindergarten Transition Pre-School at his soon to be new school, leaving Finn home.

For the first few days Finn moped around the house asking where Jack was, saying, in tears, "I want my brudder."

I never pegged Finn as a kid that had a social crutch - he's done very well in school and has never been particularly clingy... unless, I'm just now putting together, he's stuck somewhere without Jack to lead the way... or just... there.  Birthday parties, VBS, whatever - Finn doesn't care if there are cupcakes and balloons - all he wants is his brother.

SO this is how he spent most of VBS

I'm looking forward to pre-school where Finn will find his mojo again. 

Night Time @ Not Camp

Abby is at her first church camp.  She is probably having the best time she's ever had in her whole life - kids, God swimming and singing? This sort of place was made for her.

BUT at night, in the dark, I think of her - wonder if she's tired out enough to just conk right out or if she's struggling with her fears without me.

Can't wait to hear all about it and hug her and have her at night in the dark sleeping soundly here, not at camp.